shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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