Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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