TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We have started to decorate penises.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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