Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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