Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
