Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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