Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize