My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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