How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
