Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
