Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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