he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
