So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
