Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize