I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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