At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize