Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
