Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You ruined the universe
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
