Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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