You just made me feel so damn special
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
