You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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