Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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