ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
