Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize