have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
