i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
