I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
