I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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