Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
