he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
