Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
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