I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
