I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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