this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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