tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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