Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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