your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
