Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
