I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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