Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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