im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
