Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
