don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
