In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
