all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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