They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
