jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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