im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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