you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
whose parrot is this?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
