Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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