i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
