oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
