Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
