Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
