I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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