I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize