No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
