I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
