Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
honey bunches of taint.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize