Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Couch. On fire.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
