I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize