We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize