how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
