she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
