He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
