think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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