I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
