Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
