Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
