Moan for me like Helen Keller
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
