I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
