Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
