The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
