I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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