the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
